Things I am going to put aside

Need to put aside all kinds of pointless meaningless things:

-- Death (Consciousness never dies, only witnesses radical changes)

-- Health (It's another name for Pleasure)

-- Success notions

-- Recognition or fame (That is also a double edged sword - some gain some loss)

-- Opp sex relations and friends

-- Work

-- Duties/Obligations (the only real duty is to get liberation)

-- Astrology (it is the internal weather forecast)

-- All pain and suffering

-- Aging body system and its changes

-- Divine (I'll believe it when I see it first)

-- Love (a passing illusion)

-- Good bad/Light dark

-- Free will and destiny (that is just an intellectual conceptual game)

-- Creative inspirations and works

-- Drugs

-- Travel

-- Celibacy (managing sexual urges)

-- Meaning (they are just overlay stories)

-- Past and Future (time is the play of the mind - memory and projections)

-- Thought and Juicy-Thoughts-Emotions (play of words, language, meaning, stories)

-- Money (money is only the means, only for some things)

-- Desires (there are infinite desires at every moment, taking stock of what is there and calculating improvements)

-- Depression (it comes and goes)

-- ASCs (the most fleeting things)

-- Mental bleeding (from past terror situations)

-- Dreams

-- Causation (did I cause this? or did that cause me?, it is an intellectual concept game again)

-- Depression (just live in reality, it is a passing ASC)

These things are to be dealt with as they come,

But never the central focus.

They are all subservient and must serve the higher goal of liberation.

The central focus is the pursuit of liberation.

The central goal is yoga/union.

The nature of JB setup abuse

JB setup: Keeps broadcasting these things:

-- Do not expect anything from me, I owe you nothing.

-- I gain nothing from you, you are a liability to me, the best thing you can do is either [be far away out of sight] OR [please me/validate me].

-- Already whatever I am doing for you is a debt, do not increase the debt (said as a warning).

-- But they expect/demand different stuff from me, random small things demanded (role-reversal of parent-child constantly maintained).

-- They trouble me with their mismanagement, negligence, dramas, noise, smells etc.

If confronted, they are 100% attack aggression, because they believe they are always right and can do no wrong.

-- They tell me "I am already a victim to this that XXX, don't make my life any more difficult with your needs or problems". Rather you fulfil all your needs on your own and stay away, or if you want any interaction then fulfil my needs.

-- Lastly if I tell them all of these things, they will deny it and call it my imagination, shame me for it, and tell me I can do better things than try to find non-existent imaginary faults in their perfect natures.

4 different worlds as relation between your desires-survival and life river

1st world = River of life itself takes you [to - into - through] your desires-survival.

2nd world = Still river of life, needs your effort to move towards your desires-survival.

3rd world = Opposing river of life, opposes you enough that most of your effort is consumed to not slide away from your desires-survival.

4th world = Opposing river of life such that all your efforts only slow down the movement away from your desires-survival.

Everything is tendency

Tendency to [separate, isolate, observe, reflect, ruminate, understand, theorize].

Watching the tendencies arise with force and pass,

Also watching tendencies cycle.

It is the tendencies that rule one's life experience.

There is the tendency for death and tendency for life.

It also determines which forces will be harnessed,

Depending on which tendencies are online.

Similar terms

Pain ---- Pleasure
Disease ----- Health
Hell ----- Heaven

There is no event called death

There is no event called death.

That is a 3rdpp pov.

That event only applies to others.

For you, it is dying-transitioning.

There is always a fight between 3rdpp and 1stpp.

That is: objectivity vs subjectivity.

Objectivity is only for others.

Subjectivity is for your self.

"Even if there is no afterlife, the moment you die, you are unaware you are dead.

But the moment before, you are alive. 

In this way, life and death never meet.

I am not afraid of death because life and death never meet.

Just as you cannot remember the exact moment you fall asleep.

I will only know life. 

YOU will know my death. 

That's your problem."

- Norm MacDonald

Dreams, Death, and Psychedelics

Dreams = Theta state

Deep Sleep = Delta state

Psychedelics/DMT = Delta+Theta

Sg: If you can be aware of the exact moment of falling asleep, you'd be aware of the moment of death too.

A person leaves the body either from: Energies getting too feeble ---or--- Energies getting too intense.

There is only a range in which the [subtle body energy frequency] stays in the body.

Robert Monroe OBE: Focus 10, Focus 18 states = show you states where the point of attention shifts away from the body.

David Icke: Out of body is just the point of attention being placed away from the body-senses.

If the dream state is a 2-3/10 separation from the body.

DMT might be an 8/10 separation from the body.

Death might be a full on 10/10 separation from the body.

Terrence Mckenna and the Tibetan Shamans: DMT as the lower bardos. 

Going beyond the lower bardos is to enter death and not returning.

Bernado Kastrup: The dream field.

Transcendence (Tirobhava to Anugraha) is an orthogonal direction, no matter what season is happening

I have been roiling/rolling in [disease, suffering, deprivations, limitations, depressions, weakness, fatigue],

From lack of energy/prana,

Since 2013 Ra Mahadasha.

That's the reason for all my addictions-schedules.

Needing the stimulants like tea/nicopatches, hot-cold bath, fap, supplements, exercise, drinks etc.

This is an inner 4th world situation since 2013 - Where the body is collapsing from the deprivation of energy,

And all my actions are about trying to get spurts of energy/breaks/reliefs,

Only to postpone/delay the fall that just keeps on going on and on.

It is the season of transition from body to out-of-body (the Bharani imperative?),

From waking->dreaming->sleep, the return part of the cycle.

I have to live low key, lay low, with low budget expenses,

Just to manage/pass through this transition.

I'm sort of in a [state of suspension (suspended action), bardo, limbo, liminal space, transitory state].

The astral load is high, taking up a lot of my energy to experience->process->sort all of it out.

I'm constantly in the zone of in-between life(survival) and death.

The constant yo-yoing between: 

12h (the loss of lagna) and 1h (the ecstasy of birth, new life).

Beginnings ---and--- fadings

My strife being to someone access the 1h again through temp means whenever I can,

Manifesting as 1000s of sparks of creativity, but with very short life.

Life now feels like walking in a dark night searching for those fireflies of hope.
Always searching for stimulations - that might make me "feel real" for a while,

Instead of the faded dream flow that is otherwise ongoing.

The [Tirobhava -> Anugraha], is an orthogonal direction to [Srishti -> Stithi -> Laya].

And every change can be used to progress higher in transcendence in this orthogonal direction.

There is new knowledge/learning/progression in transcendence, 
No matter what happens in the planar space.