USB file transfer and food analogy for the understanding that I desire from others.

USB file transfer analogy for the understanding that I desire from others.

The understanding I want from people,
Is like 'USB transfer' of my file,
And installation of that file in their laptop/phone.
So say I went for a 1 month trip,
And say I want to transmit a 500mb file of my experiences to other people,
What happens is that,
As I make the connection with wire,
And start transmitting...,
They pull out the USB plug after I have transmitted a random 1mb fragment of the file.
They then now have a random 1mb incomplete fragment of that file I was sending them.
They then cut off the conversation and change the topic to something else.
Then I wonder what happens to that junk file fragment they have stored.
I guess it would go into their recycle bin as a useless file?
To be deleted in a day at best?
So my real desire for understanding would be,
That they download all of the 500mb of my file,
In a high speed connection (better listening, attention, interest),
And after receiving all of the 500mb,
I would like them to install that file on their phone/laptop,
And then I would have transmitted the real essence and it would become a shared psychic experience.

Another similar analogy could be that of food.
I give them food, and I would like them to eat and digest it through all its stages to extract the essence of what I was trying to convey.
But here also they simply taste it just a little and spit it out.
When I understand people,
I do the whole thing.
I let them talk it out fully,
And then download their file,
And extract the essence of that by installing that within me (understanding, contemplating, extracting)
But because this is unrequited all the time,

Nowadays even I just skim-hear things and drop it off without showing full interest.

The desire for other's inclusion and understanding

I like the process of someone understanding me and including me.

It is a kind of investing in me.

To reflect me back to me.

That reflection I never got, that I desire for.

That investment of energy/attention/interest that I never received, that I desire for.

The reason why this has never happened is,

The other needs to desire understanding too,

To the same depth/frequency/extent.

That would automatically lead them to understand themselves first,

And then extend that to me easily after that.

The appearance of transmission of experience

Sg raised an interesting question in enlightenment,

About experience vs understand.

I want to first experience -> then understand -> then express it.

This raises another question.

Can experience be transmitted?

I think it appears to be transmitted when there is deep willingness in the other.

But in deeper reality, it is the longing vacuum of the other that seeks it from you.

It is like they sought you as a catalyst inspiration proof, 

To strive and access that from within themselves.

So the outer guru is the reflection of your own inner guru.

Once you make connection with your inner guru, 

You have also union-ed with the outer guru,

Who is actually the reflected symbolic embodiment of your inner guru.

That is why it is said, you develop the longing and the guru will emerge.

Because it actually in-forms within you, 

And reflects outside like a guru causing the outer guru to appear in myriad ways.

This is actually true for all experience.

The outer experience is only a reflection/projection/mirror of the inner process.

The outer-inner go together.

So it is only God/Higher field that makes anything happen.

Things just appear to happen through one agent causing something to an other.

That is why causation is an illusion.

But from the higher pov, 

You are god himself, 

Experiencing a symbolic journey of through yourself.

Everything that is perceived to be happening outside,

Is the reflection of the mechanics within.

The million chemistries and its flows determine experience of the outer,
Which only serves like a canvas/stage/prop-set.

Whatever happens to you,
Is the attraction based on your own desires.

Dark night of the soul, 12h, night sea journey

# The 12h is like a desync.

This desync is what causes loss of everything.

It seems like the fall into the unconscious,

To serve total transcendence.

Once fallen into the unconscious,

Experience takes on the form of a quantum mesh,

Similar to a caterpillar turning into the cocoon,

And the old is completely lost in this process.

Thereafter it is that quantum mesh intelligence,

That will act as the ground for the new formation.

# This is the night sea journey to the next shore.

Where one surrenders to time/kalabhairava (the time transformer)

Which is like surrendering to the rhythms/movements/motions of the sea.

Having left the previous shore, that is out of sight now and cannot be returned to,

And with the new shore not even visible in the horizon,

It is the night sea journey or dark night of the soul.

The dark night of soul is just the intelligence that transcends darkness and light.

A transcendent quantum like intelligence.

The dawn is when the next shore becomes visible,

And when the movement towards that inspired place,

Can be clearly mapped, tracked, measured and seen.

# Life unable to expand,

Into the place, people, process(time).

They are the walls of the prison.

They act as walls sometimes, 

Tormentors at other times.

Like the walls and the oppressive guards.

Oppressing in myriad ways in my perception.