Spirituality hits viscerally only after it starts to dissolve the I

Until then its fun and games,
Until the identity is touched.
Thereafter all that can be lost is lost.
Only the true remains,
Only that which is beyond survives the total infiltration of death.

Merging life and death

Death removes all that is not.

When death mixes with everything,

There is life-death together,

A whole every moment,

With only the whole moving the whole.

Motivation is only when the reward is not intrinsic

Motivation is needed only when the reward is not intrinsic to the activity itself.
So when aliveness itself is enjoyed, it penetrates everything.
It is like when the subatomic particles are singing, all matter is enjoying.

The only thing I am craving

In a way the only thing I am looking for is:
Intense meaning/voltage/current/movement/flow.
Be it additive, subtractive/dissolving, transforming.

Hatred and Love are about changing and not-changing

Hatred is about trying to change something (push).
Love is about trying to preserve something (pull).
Equanimity is about letting them be.

Hate and Love are for the external world and the internalized world.
External world providing the good or bad experience.
Internalized world holding the good or bad experience.

It ties into craving (love) and aversion (hate).
Wanting to include vs Wanting to exclude.
Wanting to keep vs Wanting to remove.

Loved things torture you when they are gone.
Hated things torture you when they are there.

Hatred and love are responses to impermanence.
They are efforts to negotiate with the flow of change:
That’s what conditioning is: the internalization of the external world.

Longing/Lack = Presence of Absence
Abundance = Presence of Presence

There is just expansion and contraction in all areas

There is really just expansion and contraction.

Inbreath and Outbreath.

Inbreath = expansion, Outbreath = contraction.

Jupiter = Expansion/Knowledge -----vs----- Saturn = Contraction

Venus = Expansion/Luxuries -----vs----- Mars = Contraction

Moon = Expansion/Emotions -----vs----- Nodes = Contraction (or unusual expansion)

Sun = self-realization empowerment or ego.

Mercury = adapting or confusion.

The meta-framework

Higher -> Me (battery, processor, actor) -> World.
How can you receive -> How much can you hold -> How much can you express.
This controls all becoming and unbecoming too.