The case for transcendence

Taking medications to tolerate the circumstances - has side effects, suffering, awareness reductions,

Not taking it is also enormous suffering,

But somehow likely nothing would make me take action and leave,

Somehow the feeling is that - I would mess up further by any action of mine,

This has become a really strong programming from seeing multiple failures in trying to find the source of fulfillment outside.

What I want I cannot see, but I know it is not in anything that I see or have seen.

They have all PROVEN themselves to be empty and therefore wastes of time.

So then there is this danger of repeating a million versions of negative pasts.

It is like I am lost in the mirror matrix but want to get out of it.

But all I see and search for is only inside all the endless images of the mirror.

My seeking is for the beyond, the foreign, something impossible, something unknown.

The unknown could be worse, but it is not like the pain of the sheer despair of the known at least.

There is some possibility there. Some exploration is possible.

There is no value to be found in the world.

That is only the shadow and appearance.

The gold will slip through my fingers or just vanish as I even begin to hold it.

Now there is not even much gold in sight at all, very very little of what once was.

Earlier the technicolor mirages, illusions could sometimes dazzle bewitch me, 

Now I live in an apocalyptic grey world with a few colors here and there.

So I want to deal with something closer to source,

Rather than being lost in these shadows, moving from one poison to the other,

While also wasting a bunch of energy in that process, 

And facing all the useless drama and involvements of that.

It is like I have enough failures in my being, to make me seek at this level.

Seems like the more the number of failures outside, more the evolution,

It is like total futility, powerlessness, helplessness is the final point before transcendence.

Because what else can make one transcend?

If what is wanted is found somewhere, sometime, then it would only create a circle of all frantic attempts to recapture that time-space.

The statement of transcendence is like:

May all your dreams fail, so that you may finally enter here.

People keep inventing new dreams and extending their lease of meaning/purpose etc.

But now I am at my last reserves in my capacity to deceive myself that something outside IS IT.

Creating a false dream is like jumping off a building and believe you are flying,

The higher the building, the longer the fall, but also more devastating the impact with the ground or reality.

More the falsity of the dream, more the crash/disappointment/anger/frustration/suffering when you realize it was not it.

By then you would have invested your whole life into it, and it will be too late.

You will have to live through the stomach upset till it clears,

And then hopefully you will not eat the same stuff again for this to repeat.

The rift between false joy and real joy, is based on how much the person is really aligned to the truth of things, how much real Vidya/Gyana has the person grokked/contemplated on.

Only the false shall be lost, the truth forever is.

Nothing real can be threatened, Nothing unreal exists.

But if all you have is the false, then everything can and in a way will be lost at some time.

So it is just a matter of vision.

The one seeking the ultimate truth, in the larger picture, is avoiding a whole load of useless crashes and suffering, thought in the immediate moment he may appear to be unhappy from all that he sees.

And when I say something outside, it is not just outside the body.

The body, brain, mind all are outsides only.

They are all JADA/Inert/Props. Only consciousness is Atma.

Rest is all JADA, but the mixing of consciousness with them gives them their life.

So this JADA is only meant to express your dance.

There is no inherent true real value in anything, apart from the formless transcendent subject.

Sick lost beings living on the medications/diet of uncountable number of illusions,

You cannot just pull them out.

As sg said, wisdom is needed to know what will help and what will not.

If I just pull them out, they will break, but the ropes will not.

They will still think the ropes that held them were more real.

They just don't have the necessary power inside themselves to digest what I give them and grow from that.

This is not different from treating people in the drug addiction ward.

Only here the drugs are their mountain sized belief systems and all the false meaning and activity that creates.

It seems best if they come to me, 

Rather than me going to them.

Even if they come to me, I still have to see how much fire they have come with.

Every question is an opening, but the opening is only as big as what is behind that question.

Everything comes from nothing and returns to nothing and comes back to everything.

x...Nothing -->-- Everything -->-- Nothing...x 

How did this something come from nothing, 

I have privileged inner access to know this.