This Ra mahadasha has simply had the major themes of:
The gradual descent into Depression/Deadness/Emptiness, taking me into deeper and deeper worlds of the outbreath.
Fading/Falling away more and more into the depths of the ocean, into deeper obscurity, unreachability and aloneness.
Very high libido + Pleasure seeking = As a drive to feel alive again (remove the deadness).
That is why I tried all kinds of [psycs, supplements, narcotics, drugs] etc. to feel alive again.
Items: Nico, Mj, Tea, Dark choc, Fp.
To feel connected to something nurturing or holding the promise of nurturing.
I now just care about [truth, honesty, sincerity, genuineness, humility, transcendence].
My craving and attachment to life itself, is being weaned out.
The great emptying and self-cooking to a crisp, paving the way for the great return.
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