Do abandoned energies (that were previously mixed-in) turn against you?
It is as if all relations that received conscious tangling OR unconscious tangling of your energy (like family relations),
Need to be untangled slowly and gently over time without breaking or separating it.
Since the family-ones are unconscious and therefore deeper, they are harder to unwind out.
As part of the Dwija - twice born, there has to be separation from the familial identity, with as much grace as possible.
I have done a good job with transforming JB. But D is the hard one by a very long shot.
In fact it is mostly me attempting to seek the connection with JB with different techniques, not from their side to me.
***
That energy turns against you and works against you.
It is like now the relationship gets imposed on you, which becomes the enemy relation.
It is the energetic link that is refusing to separate and still entangled, since the door is not opening voluntarily, it is barging-in and demanding the relation.
Now the interesting thing is, I might have had such violent relations in the past, where I was the one imposing this on the other.
That is why like the criminal transformed by Buddha, when he went to the village ppl still threw stones at him.
So even though I am transformed hugely and am stepping out of my old patterns, those old patterns mirrored by others who synced with me, are now demanding the same from me and therefore turning adversarial and violent.
***
The violence happens because it is against my will which wants to separate itself from those energies.
Even if I withdraw from it, it gets thrust on me as some intrusion/violation which is a forcible inclusion of sort.
Like breaking the door and entering.
It is a way of forcibly grabbing attention.
This could be problematic, because now every fight will be perpetuated, to maintain the relation.
It is as if forcibly dishing out pain to the other is the only way the connection is forcibly maintained.
It is like eggidi hitting me on the back, and me slapping him.
This is the definition of abusive relations right? Where one or both the parties act unconsciously forcing the relation violently on the other.
Now even if I decide to stop, he will still do it from habit and that would be felt like abuse to me.
It is also heavily conditioning coming from eons maybe. That is the only way they know to relate, unless that intensity is provided through another way.
***
The problem is of the demand for intensity. Because that much intensity is difficult to get by proper sustainable means. So it is kind of a rabbit hole and it reminds me of criminals who are not willing to work and earn value in society, and instead break into the bank and steal the money.
That extreme hunger, and lack of legit means, means they will use brute violent ways which are obv non-sustainable and will lead to the system putting them in prison.
***
So essentially in abusive relations, one is dealing with a criminal, who wants to grab that intensity of attention from you by force and against your will.
Is it not similar to rape in a sense? or physical abuse? - essentially unearned relation that is demanded.
[I do that with B, but in a different way, by marketing/selling/emphasizing all the great value I bring to him, that is another way].
So it is like perfusion into other energies and withdrawal from other energies,
There is a certain grace in both those processes.
Violent entry becomes violation.
Violent exit is seen as violation again.
***
Its problem is that, it wants the relation intensity so bad, and goes about criminal brute ways of getting other's attention.
My problem is, my failure of proper assertion, which either gets completely closed or it is completely open to a big detriment to me.
I thought being silent and completely non-cooperative, non-responsive would do the trick, but it seems to fire the violence of the other even more.
***
Another problematic link now is through food, the seductive kinds of foods, which it uses to get relation from others.
So the relation is only through the stomach and obv through not so healthy sweet or spicy foods.
So I wonder, does the sadist become the masochist when he withdraws from his old ways.
It is like the Ire of all the people he violated and attacked, is felt as coming back to him from them being the sadist now.
Prarabdha is the arrow that is already fired and living through the effects of that.
So nothing can be done but to BHOG the effects.
But agami is the arrow armed right now which can be shot skillfully with vision in the present.
***
It is like in the previous night if you have not settled some issue,
After sleeping it comes back to you in the morning.
Similarly, I think my karma is not with individuals,
But rather to the psyche patterns which get symbolically played out like dreams.
Like how SK was behaving almost exactly the same.
The repeating pattern tells you there is that unresolved component.
How to resolve does not mean you just get back into the old pattern.
It has to be transformed with vision too, not just a reactive thing and agreeing to fall back into it,
Which actually recreates the same past that you have just changed from.
The unconscious energies are transformed from your conscious intelligence to whatever capacity you can manage with Agami.
***
It almost seems like withdrawal from relation is not an option.
It turns the relations bad.
But even strangers turn hostile.
So it seems like having no relation is not possible as long as I am in this environ.
When I am moving into enlightenment, does everyone want to tag along for a free ride?
Like sg was saying the snakes would come when he would go into deep meditation?
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